For Part 1, click here

After taking Friday night off (I caught up on the Kota Ibushi/Kenny Omega reunion over some ice cream), I went back to Liberty City. I’m determined to beat GTA III and I think I know how to do it – be methodical. I’m going to work through the missions logically and not get drawn into any silly stuff, like police chases and random fights.

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I’m going to use the strategy I used for Infamous: Second Son and stick to one quest line until it’s completed. Mind you, that strategy made me hate Infamous: Second Son – by the end of covering every bit of the game map looking for items and working through the quests, I never wanted to play another Infamous game again. When PS4 owners got Infamous: First Light for free, I tried it and managed half an hour before my Second Son resentment kicked in. So maybe I’ll go do some taxi missions if I start resenting the GTA III…

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Anyway, I’m focusing on Luigi’s missions first. Driving Misty is an easy mission, taking the delightful Misty to Joey. Done – 3/73 missions, game saved. The next mission, .Pump Action Pimp’ is much harder, as it requires me to try and shoot people quickly…a big ask for GTA III. Time hasn’t been kind to it’s controls and I’m getting a headache from the first person view that pops up every time I hit the analogue stick to trying and rotate the camera. I keep thinking this game controls like GTA V, which is sadly not the case.

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After getting wasted the first time, I remember the initial reason I stopped playing GTA III back in 2002 – I hate repeating missions, especially having to accept the mission, watch the cut-scenes and drive around the city again to find the intended victim. I’m determined not to repeat Pump Action Pimp again and my determination pays off…I get out my car, get shot three times in the face, manage to shoot the wheelman, hide for a moment in a car then accidentally run over the pimp. By ‘accidently’ run over the pimp, I meant ‘repeatedly’…the classic Lionel Hutz style execution. It’s cheap, but a horrific murder is a horrific murder and it’s on to the next mission…

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The nest mission involves driving Luigi’s girls to the police ball. It’s a pleasant drive and an easy mission. Done – 5/73. However…this is where the difficulty levels up as I have to move onto Joey’s missions. Joey wants to do more complicated crimes than drive call girls around town, so this means the game is going to get harder.

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The first one, involving planting a bomb in a guy’s car, sees me crash and destroy the car. Good work there! I complete the mission at second time of asking, but it’s a warning that things are getting harder. As an aside, I love the pun above, just as the gangster gets into the bomb rigged car. The satire of the series is in GTA III and it’s something I’ve always enjoyed.

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The next mission, ‘Farewell Chunky Lee Chong’ is a fiasco. Sure, I beat it on my first go, but it’s almost embarrassing how I do it. The game wants me to ambush Mr Chong and gun him and his acquaintances down. I know from past experience that there is an easier way – namely chase Mr Chong to his escape car and take him out, avoiding the gun battle with his mates. My golden rule for GTA III is – ‘If you can avoid using guns, do so!’ The only problem is Claude can’t catch Mr Wong…and I end up chasing him across Liberty City. Literally. On foot, sprinting after Mr Wong, wielding a baseball bat…the whole thing looks like Sopranos doing Benny Hill. I find myself wondering how far this chase can go on for as Wong sprints past Chinatown, back towards the Red Light District. Luckily for me, Wong runs into a wall, leading to a underground bridge…which oddly, makes him stand still and look at me confused. I gratefully smash him in the head with the baseball bat and head off to bed, sheepishly wondering if this might be the lamest kill in GTA history….

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Yeah, I think it is…man killed by inability to avoid wall? That’s not exactly a gangland hit is it?